The Time AI Gave Us Back

I’ve always been a bit of a tinkerer when it comes to tools. Over the years, I’ve tried more systems than I can count, all in search of the elusive holy grail: something that would not just help me organise my work, but actually give me back time.

I remember when Google launched Inbox. It was smart, clean, and helped me keep a zero inbox without even trying. But when Google retired it, I found myself back in the daily grind of email triage, chasing reminders on sticky notes, and losing precious moments to the endless scroll. I didn’t want to just get faster at work, I wanted more time away from it, so I could focus on what actually matters: people.

That’s when I found Superhuman. This isn’t an advert, plenty of tools can achieve similar things, but it’s an example of what happens when the right technology meets a clear purpose. What hooked me wasn’t just speed; it was precision. I could type, “Remind me to talk to Jo about this at 11:52 in the staffroom,” and trust it would happen. Not a vague notification buried in a to-do list, a well-timed nudge that meant I could have the conversation face-to-face rather than remembering it hours later.

It wasn’t about replacing people with technology. It was about using technology to buy back time for people. And that’s where it intersected with something much bigger, a principle called relational offsetting.

Relational offsetting: The framework

During my sabbatical, I worked with Charlie Jones from Bristol, who after reading my work put me in touch with The Relationships Project, who used the term relational offsetting. It’s a simple but powerful idea:

• Relational Reduction: Take relationships out of processes where they’re unnecessary, for example, by automating a transactional task with AI.

• Relational Investment: Use the time and resources saved to double down on relationships where they do matter.

In their words, it’s about prioritising, supporting, and doubling down on relationships where they matter most, while finding quicker or tech-driven solutions where they don’t.

That principle clicked instantly for me, because I realised: we were already doing this through our school’s wellbeing model, Te Noho Tahi.

Te Noho Tahi: Relational offsetting in practice

Te Noho Tahi is built on three interconnected pillars:

1. Daily shared presence, protected time to connect without agendas or assessment.

2. AI-supported workload reduction, tools and systems that strip away low-value admin so energy can be spent on high-value human moments.

3. Relational supervision and peer support, structured spaces for reflection, care, and growth.

When I use a tool like Superhuman to halve my email time, that’s relational reduction. The real magic is what comes next, relational investment, deliberately using that reclaimed time to be present in the staffroom, check in with a colleague, or join the end-of-day gathering without mentally juggling 15 unfinished tasks.

This isn’t just efficiency for efficiency’s sake. The AI isn’t the hero, it’s the quiet backstage crew, shifting props so the real performance, the human connection, can happen on stage.

Why it matters for leaders

In leadership, especially in people-centred spaces like schools, there’s an invisible tax on your presence. Every form, every email, every “quick” meeting chips away at the time you have to truly see your people. The irony is that the work you’re best placed to do, noticing, encouraging, and guiding, is the work that gets squeezed out first.

Relational offsetting changes that. It reframes efficiency not as “how much more can I get done” but “how much more can I be there for my people.”

In our school, that looks like:

• AI drafting student reports so teachers spend less time wrestling with words and more time discussing next steps with families.

• Calendar integrations ensuring leadership can be fully present in our daily shared presence time without worrying about what’s piling up.

The measure of success isn’t faster output, it’s stronger relationships.

The finish line effect

When we miss our daily Te Noho Tahi time, we feel it. One staff member described it as “losing the compass” for the day, without it, the hours blur together in a sprint with no finish line. When they returned to it, it felt like stepping back into a rhythm where the pace made sense again.

That’s the finish line effect. Relational offsetting isn’t just about reclaiming minutes; it’s about putting a pause back into the day, a moment that tells your body and mind, “We’ve arrived. We’re together. This matters.”

Making it real in any workplace

If you’re a teacher, principal, or anyone in a person-centred role, here’s a simple way to start:

1. Audit your day — Identify the tasks that drain time but don’t deepen relationships.

2. Reduce — Apply automation, delegation, or tech to streamline those tasks.

3. Invest — Decide, in advance, how you’ll spend the time you save on relationship-rich moments.

4. Protect — Guard that time like any other critical meeting — because it is one.

AI is the tool — not the outcome

The danger with adopting AI or automation is filling the saved time with… more work. Without a clear intention, efficiency gains get swallowed by the same pressures you were trying to escape.

But when the purpose is connection, the equation changes. Suddenly, AI isn’t about working more hours in less time, it’s about making sure you have the hours that matter most.

Te Noho Tahi has shown me that this isn’t theory, it’s a living, breathing system. It works in a school, and it can work in any people-focused workplace. It’s the difference between a culture that runs on transactions and one that runs on relationships.