Saying No to Surveys

One of the most liberating changes I have made in recent years is choosing not to fill out surveys. This decision was not born out of stubbornness or a lack of interest in giving feedback. Quite the opposite. I deeply value sharing insights and contributing to improvement. But I value genuine, human conversation even more.

The truth is, surveys often fall short in capturing the full picture. They are designed to be efficient for the collector of information, not necessarily for the giver. They rely on tick boxes, multiple choice lists, and comment fields with word limits. They rarely allow for the nuance, context, and depth that come from a conversation.

We all know the drill. An email lands in your inbox. “This will only take five minutes.” You click through and find questions that do not quite fit your situation. You choose the closest match, then type out a comment in a little box that you know will lose meaning without the chance to elaborate. You finish with the vague sense that your feedback has been captured, but not fully understood.

I realised that every time I gave those five minutes to a survey, I was trading away something far more valuable. Time for connection. Time for a conversation where the other person could ask a follow-up question. Time to hear their perspective in return. Time to strengthen a relationship.

So I changed my approach.

When a survey request arrives now, I respond with a simple line:

“I do not fill out surveys, but I would be happy to have a conversation instead.”

The result has been remarkable. The people who truly value my perspective nearly always accept the offer. Those conversations are richer, more personal, and more likely to lead to action. We can explore the “why” behind my answers. We can discuss specific examples. I can ask questions of them too. The exchange becomes a genuine dialogue rather than a one-way transaction.

One of the best examples of this was with the Education Review Office. Instead of filling in their structured survey, I spoke directly with their team. The conversation allowed me to describe our context at Tokoiti School, explain the decisions we make, and share the ways our wellbeing model, Te Noho Tahi, shapes our daily practice. They could hear the emphasis, the tone, and the values behind my words. None of that would have come through in a checkbox or a short text field.

In another case, I came across a survey question that was framed in a way that made it almost impossible to give a fair answer. The wording assumed a certain experience and left no space to acknowledge different contexts or constraints. If I had answered it as written, the result would have reflected poorly on the provider, not because the service was lacking, but because the question itself was flawed. In a conversation, I could point this out, explain the issue, and give accurate feedback. On paper, the nuance would have been lost, and the data collected would have been misleading.

Living the Te Noho Tahi values

This is exactly what Te Noho Tahi is designed to protect and promote. Our model is built on three interconnected pillars.

The survey decision lives inside that first pillar. It is about protecting presence. When I say no to a survey and yes to a conversation, I am keeping the exchange human. I am creating the space for the other person to feel seen and heard, and for me to truly listen in return.

In Te Noho Tahi, these choices are not accidental. We design for them. We create routines and guardrails that ensure time for connection is never squeezed out by admin demands. Saying no to surveys is one of those small guardrails. It stops the slow creep of tasks that eat into the time we want to spend with people.

The benefits of the conversation-first approach

There are obvious benefits to this approach. The first is time. I have reclaimed hours that would otherwise be lost to surveys that may or may not lead to meaningful change.

The second is depth. Conversations create space for clarification. They allow for stories, examples, and details that would never fit neatly into a form.

The third is relationship strength. A conversation is not just about the transfer of information. It is an act of connection. It builds trust, empathy, and understanding between people. That is valuable in itself, even before considering the information exchanged.

In the context of a school, these benefits are multiplied. Staff see that their leader makes time for real dialogue. External partners leave with a clearer and more accurate picture of the school’s work. Feedback loops become richer and more responsive because they are rooted in relationships, not transactions.

Making the shift

If you work in a people-centred role, whether you are a teacher, a principal, a health professional, or a community leader, you can try this approach too.

Start by identifying the surveys that add the least value for the time they take. These are often the ones that ask you to fit your unique context into narrow boxes.

Next, decide on your alternative. For me, it is a straightforward written response offering a conversation. You might prefer to suggest a phone call, a face-to-face meeting, or even a short video chat.

Finally, protect the time you gain. It is easy to let those reclaimed minutes be swallowed by other admin tasks. Instead, make the conscious choice to use them for connection. This might mean walking through your workplace and checking in with people, picking up the phone to call a colleague, or simply sitting down to share a coffee with someone who needs it.

A better return on time

The key shift here is intention. If the goal is only to save time, then the space you create will quickly be filled with more work. But if the goal is to strengthen relationships, you will start to see every efficiency gain as an opportunity to invest in people.

That is what Te Noho Tahi teaches us. The value of reducing a task lies not in the task itself, but in what you do with the time you save. By protecting and investing that time in human connection, you not only get the work done, you make the work worth doing.

So the next time a survey arrives in your inbox, pause before you click. Ask yourself whether your feedback would be better delivered in a conversation. If the answer is yes, offer that instead.

You may find, as I have, that it not only changes the quality of your feedback, it changes the quality of your relationships.

Enter your search text in the box above

Select a result to preview